Mothers for Sale

There is a very good article in this month’s Atlantic by Helen Lewis about legalized surrogacy. It brings me back to my work in the 1980s and confirms that my analysis and fears were all too correct. As usual, they were not politically correct.

In 1987, barely a year after I published Mothers on Trial: The Battle for Children and Custody, I saw that a new kind of custody battle was fully upon us. I viewed the earliest cases of surrogacy as a battle between wealthy “intended parents” and economically desperate or psychologically vulnerable women and as another kind of custody fight. I also viewed the practice for what it is: Selling babies and practicing slavery in terms of the conditions that “surrogate” mothers must meet. This was what became known as “reproductive prostitution.” But also as the “gift of life.”

In 1987, I jumped into the issue of legalized surrogacy with both feet. I organized demonstrations outside the courthouse where the Baby M case was being heard. I worked with the great New Jersey lawyer Harold Cassidy, who was representing Mary Beth Whitehead. I submitted a feminist amicus brief, spoke on the panel that celebrated the outlawing of legalized surrogacy in New Jersey, lectured far and wide on the subject, organized a demonstration outside Noel Keane’s surrogacy clinic in NYC and at a major feminist conference in NYC. For my pains, I was attacked by liberal feminists and accused of “being in bed with the Pope.” That conjured up a strange image indeed.

And then I published Sacred Bond: The Legacy of Baby M. At that point, various adoption advocates attacked me. I did not oppose adoption, but I did note that all such babies born of a “surrogate” mother were, in a sense, created for the purpose of being adopted away from their birthmothers. We still do not understand whether this is one of the many traumas that adopted as well as “surrogate” children may experience. (Not to mention the lifelong regrets or ambivalence of birthmothers who once had their newborns taken from them because they were unmarried or underage.) I was also attacked by infertile women, the mothers of infertile daughters and sons, by gay men who wanted their own children, and, of course, by the profiteers: the pimps and the slavers.

I wrote articles. And then I was attacked by some radical feminists for muddying the waters by even raising the issue of adoption. And by the lawyers and legislators who favored the wealthy clients over and above women’s rights and who wanted to ever-so-slightly improve the heartless surrogacy contracts.

It’s always Fun ‘N Games when one thinks independently—it comes with the territory of speaking one’s mind. It is not personal although women tend to take far too much personally. Please read Lewis’s article. Even I know about the horror stories, the cases gone awry.

Mothers for Sale

Most of Europe bans commercial surrogacy. The United Nations likens it to slavery. But in the United States, business is booming.

By Helen Lewis

September 9, 2026

The Atlantic

When Shoshannah Roberts talks about the four babies she’s given away, she glows. “When I think about it now, it still feels emotional,” she told me. “Those moments are so magical.”

For many women, the thought of handing over a newborn to someone else is almost incomprehensible—they feel a deep revulsion at a primal sundering. But for Roberts, acting as a surrogate four times is the most meaningful thing she has done with her life. “I’ve seen the parents hold their babies right away, skin to skin. I mean, like, raw,” she said. “Baby’s off me, cord is cut, and Mom is just holding her baby and sobbing. It’s amazing.”

The first time I saw Roberts, who lives in Santa Barbara County, California, she was speaking at the Men Having Babies conference in downtown San Francisco. Men Having Babies does exactly what its name promises: The organization helps gay aspiring fathers find women who are willing—eager, even—to carry their children. For one weekend every year, more than 200 men from across California and beyond fill the ballroom at the Marines’ Memorial Club & Hotel and listen to panel discussions and keynotes, with a special breakout session for single dads.

Read the full article here: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/2026/10/usa-commercial-surrogacy-industry/688357/