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Posted in: Motherhood & Custody, Islam, Women

Published on Jun 20, 2008 by Phyllis Chesler

Written for Pajamas Media

American Woman, Arab Man

Tales of Horror in the Harem


Cassandra lives. No, I am not talking about the ancient Trojan prophet whose visions went unheeded and whom the Greek conquerors enslaved. This is another kind of Cassandra. Her visions of danger and doom concern what happens when an American woman marries an Arab and Muslim man. Cassandra herself was once married to an Arab Christian and, based on that experience has, so far, written two books: Escape from an Arab Marriage. Horror Stories of Women Who Fled From Abusive Muslims Husbands (2006) and Thirty Three Secrets Arab Men Never Tell American Women (2008). In the first book, she tells the stories of many American women who married Arab Muslim men and what happened to them.

The stories are gripping, terrifying, highly dramatic–and depressingly similar. At first, the men are utterly charming, generous, solicitous of their American girlfriend's every need. After they are married to American citizens and can claim their own citizenship, they revert to form: Almost overnight, they become cruel, condescending, physically abusive, suspicious, insanely controlling, unfaithful, deceptive, and highly secretive. Look, she is not writing about the happy marriages; as her title suggests, she is writing about "abusive Muslim Husbands." The need to balance everything out, to allow every point of view, will prove our undoing.

These are men who do not support their wives but expect their wives to support themselves, the household, and the children, even while they are pregnant or ill. And then, things always take a turn for the worse. This behavior accurately describes the family life of double honor murderer, Yasir Said, of Dallas, Texas. I have written about this case for PJM many times. See HERE and HERE for example.

Here's what's worse. These spoiled and pampered sons kidnap their American children, which forces their American wives to live in dangerous and unfriendly Muslim countries and households, (often with first or subsequent wives), and that's if they're lucky. Just as often, the American mothers may simply never see their children again. The American government, Embassies, and Consulates do not help such American citizen-hostages to return home. Once an American woman marries a foreign national, she and her children are no longer entitled to any American citizenship rights.

I know this is true because some of this also happened to me. Read HERE and HERE.

Custody of the children automatically belongs to the father and to his family. And the Arab and Muslim families routinely abuse the children just as they abuse their own children–only more so, because these are American children whose mothers are (unacceptably) Christian. And yes, Christians are hated and persecuted in Muslim countries. This is the truth, unpalatable as it might be.

In addition, according to Cassandra, recently, some members of Al Qaeda and of other terrorist groups have specifically come to America to gain American citizenship through marriage, create terror cells, brainwash their own American citizen children into jihad and recruit other Americans to Islamist jihad. Adam Gadahn of Oregon was apparently recruited this way by Hisham Diab, Sarrah Olsen's Saudi husband. Olsen started calling the FBI in 1992, after her terrorist husband hosted the blind Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman (who is now in jail for having plotted against the World Trade Center), and Khalil Deck, who was arrested in Jordan while planning to blow up the U.S. Embassy.

The FBI did not take Olsen's information seriously.

I can just hear the politically correct reader saying: C'mon, this can't be true of every single Arab and Muslim man. Isn't it unacceptably racist/colonialist to think this way? Isn't this a form of intellectual profiling that leads directly to Abu Graib and Guantanamo? Doesn't this play right into the allegedly fascist hands of American Homeland Security and Immigration Department racism?

Well yes, it could–but what if each and every story is true? What if what we in the West have finally begun to consider crimes (wife- and child-beating, incest, paternal non-payment of child support, child kidnapping, polygamous marriages arranged against a child's will), are still normalized behaviors in the Muslim world? What if the truth itself is shameful and therefore offensive? Do we refuse to tell the truth? Refuse to hear it?

Many people do just that. And then there are the glorious, high-profile exceptions: Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Ali Alyami, Bat Ye'or, Andrew Bostom, Nonie Darwish, Dr. Rachel Ehrenfeld, Bassam Eid, Tareq Hegy, Ibn Warraq, Aaron Klein, Nancy Kobrin, Matthias Kunzel, Robert Spencer, Mark Steyn, Wafa Sultan. Although some on this honor roll are Muslims, ex-Muslims, and "people of color," they too have been accused of "racism" and "reactionary conservatism" for daring to tell the truth about jihad, Islam/Islamism.

Yes, the stories are strong, horrifying, and therefore border on "offensive," but they are also true stories. Cassandra is not a scholar. She is passionate and personal. The stories she tells are real page-turners. Some of the praise for her books borders on the fanatically patriotic and is slightly vulgar and hysterical. But authors are not responsible for their admirers. In any event, such a tone is still decibels below its Arab and Muslim propaganda counterparts. Although I flinch when reading it, perhaps such loudness may eventually serve the cause.

Cassandra has chosen to self-publish (XLibris) because she needs to remain anonymous and wants to control the editorial content. Cassandra urgently wants to warn naive American women away from marriage to Arab and Muslim men. I beg everyone to read the stories and make up their own minds. In a recent email to me, she writes:

"In a nutshell, what I want to do next is to be instrumental in turning the tide against Muslim terrorists and help eradicate their agenda forever in the U.S. and then the rest of the world."

A worthy and difficult goal.

I will be writing about this again. And, let me recommend two other books which are due out much later this year. Dr. Nancy Kobrin's book The Sheikh's New Clothes: The Naked Truth About Islamic Suicide Terrorism and Nonie Darwish's new book about women living under Shari'a law Cruel and Usual Punishment: The Terrifying Global Implications of Sharia Law. They are fitting Cassandra-like companions.

Will contemporary Westerners pay attention to these new Cassandras or will they refuse to listen to them until we have been conquered?


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